beck's blog

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Postcard From The Edge (of a Shelf)

This came a couple of days ago and I had to share it with you.





(Click on the pic for enlargement).

A beautiful e-mail postcard of our New Snape perched atop the shelf in North Carolina with his new Moose friends.
Enclosed in the e-card were these words from New Snape's new Keeper of the Keys...

"The infamous wizard known as Severus Snape, formally
the Potion Master of Hogwarts and recently accused of
assassinating Albus Dumbledore, has been sited! After
the terrible events at Hogwarts, Snape disappeared
from the scene, sparking much controversy and a
man-hunt as large as that conducted on behalf of
Sirius Black several years ago. Magic folks and
Muggles alike have searched in vain. However, some
secret sources fortunately did manage to track the
clever wizard's freedom flight through informants,
chocolate frog wrappers, Amazon.com receipts,
discarded shampoo coupons, a half-eaten meat-pie, and
alert, postal service workers [wizards and witches
disguised as Muggle mail clerks] who will remain
nameless.

Having successfully eluded the Ministry of Magic,
Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Rita Skeeter, a
tax-collector, US Immigration, an encyclopedia
salesman, a cheeky "evil" twin, and three sassy,
single American waitresses who fell in love with his
British accent, Snape found the perfect hideout: the
shelf of a sweet, unsuspecting, Southern Muggle
knick-knack collector who loves to display all her
best treasures. Aided by an enigmatic woman known as
Madam Kelly and using some ancient, home-grown magic
arts and spells, the crafty Snape transformed himself
into a hand-made doll and allowed himself to be mailed
to the Murphy Muggle. Apparently, there was some type
of love-at-first site spell in play because the Muggle
became especially enamored with her new "doll," giving
him the highest place of honor that she had in her
home.

When asked how it felt to be mailed via the American
Muggle post, sources say that Snape simply smirked and
replied, "Best rest I've had in years. The benefits of
sleeping on packing peanuts should be explored
further." Our sources continued to probe Snape for
details indicating concern over his unusual choice of
hideout. Sources say that Snape smirked again and
said, "The Moose doesn't talk, and as for the rat,
well, I've dealt with his kind before..." [ See
picture] The plaid bear and the baby moose refused to
comment.

So, as the Magic and Muggle world are gearing up for
the final showdown against He Who Must Not Be Named
and his followers, the man of the moment--the wizard
to watch--waits quietly on a shelf in a sleepy, rural
town. It is still to be determined exactly which side
Severus Snape is on--die-hard death eater or loyal
Phoenix spy? The trademark smirk reveals no secrets
about those theories. However, sources can confirm:
he likes the artificial fish bow simulator, the fact
that his new hideout offers shades of Slytherin green,
and the unsuspecting Muggle's admiration of her brand
new wizard "doll," although he isn't quite used to
receiving that many hugs... "

Original Snape especially likes the little Slytherin-green moose and hopes his personality matches those traits common to all Slytherins. I'm sure New Snape will be very happy, (well, as 'happy' as Snape can ever be), in his new home.
Thanks for the picture!

2 Comments:

  • I am laughing out loud! :D I love the title of this entry! New Snape is looking very sly amongst his new NC companions. The pict of course proves that Snape is no coward, as Mr. Potter contends. It takes a certain amount of courage to travel by post, sit on the shelf with a mute stuffed moose & company, and be thusly photographed! You can always depend upon Severus Snape to do and be the unexpected... ;-)

    Great doll! Fun blogs!

    --Matildaktt

    By Blogger matildaktt, at 10:08 PM  

  • will you ever make any of these adorable snape babies to sell?

    I WANT ONE!! tee hee.

    pirate.natalie@gmail.com

    By Blogger Nat, at 9:14 PM  

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