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Friday, February 17, 2012

Evil Nostrella - Mistress of the Underworld

Ladies and Gentlemen;
I present to you a portrait of pure evil.....

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The one and only;
Evil Nostrella; Mistress of the Underworld ---- ( Well underneath the table at least).
Her nostrils flaring as she pokes her snout upwards and sniffs about the topside layer for food scraps.
She is an monster.

(Don't gaze upon her portrait for too long as your brain might turn to mush and you may be compelled to do some horrible task which you, in no other circumstance, would ever dream of doing!)

She goes by many other names as well; most of which are not decent for repeating in my blog.
But I can tell you that right now she prefers the name Yee.

She has captured and held my family prisoner for 8 to 10 years. (No one can really remember because it's all such a terrifying blur).

Through the years she has chewed her way through countless pairs of eyeglasses, (our optometrist LOVES her), video games, Cds, videos, remotes, furniture, socks, shoes, anything she finds interesting in the garbage, razors, toothbrushes, toilet paper, carelessly placed plates of food - (that has earned her one nickname The Shark), utensil handles, tea bags, and unfortunate Beanie Babies.

I know there's so much more but I'm not wasting any more of your time.
I believe her latest heist was a Cheese-It cracker box half-full and left in the living room.

She has shed so much fur I have finally broken down and bought a Dyson vaccuum for Christmas in hopes that this will save us from Her Hairyness.

Her greatest achievement was learning to open the fridge and scarfing down an entire Easter ham.
We've had to put a belt around the refrigerator door handle to latch it shut but my family has weak members, ( ahem, you know who you are!), who foolishly leave it unbelted, despite the warnings. So she still gets in there from time to time. Whenever she can use her mind-melding techniques to make us forget to latch it. (At least that's the excuse that certain members of the family will claim whenever a breech has been discovered).


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Here she is on a couch I bought on e-bay a few years ago. I thought that couch was so cool because it was upholstered with Harry Potter fabric. The Yee totally chewed up that baby and it was thrown out long since.

She's growing older, as are we all. She has lumps and graying hair. (She has become The Gray Lady to some).
She won't be around forever.
But I do believe I will miss her when she leaves.

Perhaps Josh Gates will one day do an episode about her on Destination Truth.
Evil Nostrella - Mistress of the Underworld - Myth, Legend, Beloved Pet.

2 comments:

  1. Ah ha! I think that there is a tiny bit of love for the Beast! What a nice tribute! Glad you had a chance to make her an legacy afghan whie she's still with you!
    Here's to the Yee/Gray Lady/Dog of the Underworld!

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  2. Oh my that is one frightening creature of the underworld. I love your telling of her many adventures.
    and that harry potter sofa is amazing!

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